why didn't you poke me back
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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