Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
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