i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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