we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
