We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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