He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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