guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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