We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
