And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
