Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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