nut hugger
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
