Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
