the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
