i just snorted my name. best moment ever
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
