Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
