just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
