Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
