Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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