I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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