Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
