i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I want a musical about memes.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
