508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he was CRYING into my vagina
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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