its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
