so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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