I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
