Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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