i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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