If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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