i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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