He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Blow job season was short but glorious.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
