are you so shy because you have an std?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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