It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
