Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
