her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
