if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
