if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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