I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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