You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
