Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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