She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
