you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
