hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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