ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize