If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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