real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
