Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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