I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
