i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
