so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
