what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
