So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
