Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Randomize
