My liver just broke up with me...
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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