The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize