dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
