I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
