Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
