Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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