O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
