i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I understand Curling. That high.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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