It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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