I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
