ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
